Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Rugged Toughness

Yup, that's you, tough ruggedness. I see you in there on that rich leather throne with your toughness ruggedly showing. Standing above traffic like the rugged cowboy tough-guy that you are, drink holders and GPS at the ready. Ruggedly staring into the brunt of traffic, the scowl of Ram-Tough on your lips. I see you astride your massive $60,000 throne to tough that you have, whilst I, lowly little pussy fag biker guy passes you in the rain.

The ads say you're a tough rugged toughie with a Ford Tough truck, all manly with its DVD player and digital stereo and remote starter (cuz only tough guys sit in already-warmed rugged trucks) and in-seat heating. Little faggy pussy biker fags like me ride in the rain and the cold. Rugged Chevy men ride with their heaters and radio blasting like six-guns in the parking lot you call a road.

Wimpy puss fags like me only bike, but you're probably on your way to a tough work out -- maybe even a spinning class. You scowl at the temerity I have to actually befoul the tough traffic you ruggedly sit in, to actually pass you. You'd show me if only the light would change, you'd let me know just how ruggedly toughly rugged and manly you are.

Maybe next time, Marlboro Man.

12 comments:

WheelDancer said...

I laughed out loud at this one. Much better to ride through the grit and grime to earn a seat on the living room furniture than to sit in a recliner in a box to go to a spinning class.

Lanny said...

Beautiful little rant there, my fellow pedaling puss.

PhotoBikeMan said...

"2 lanes wide, 65 tons of American Pride, Canyonero"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCzCXyQ-bv0

PhotoBikeMan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PhotoBikeMan said...

and Oh, he'll beat you off the line and might even beat you across the intersection but you'll catch him at the next light and that's what makes him burn inside.

Beany said...

well said!

The Old Bag said...

You wimpy fag of a pussy bicycling man...great post!

Beast1624 said...

Are you sure you don't live in Texas? I swear you just painted a picture of my commute.

The Donut Guy said...

Good stuff....My 10 year old dented and scratched minivan wins just about all tests of will out on the highway.

Put me up against a 60,000 dollar Mercedes for a lane merge and I will win every time:-)

I do however give all my cycling friends plenty of room when I'm out driving.

highwaymunky said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Fell off my chair laughing. Well Done mate! So true!

Anonymous said...

It is very interesting for me to read this article. Thank author for it. I like such themes and everything that is connected to them. I would like to read a bit more soon.

Anonymous said...

Gals
You have got to see this. Obama playing on XBox. Funniest video ever. http://bit.ly/bllhx1