- Hawaiian sling and spears with 12 "This driver is a DICK" streamers
- EMP generator
- Automatic paintball rifle/paintgrenade launcher
- Tire spikes
- Bike Snob NYC says we cyclists have Death Rays that shoot from our eyes -- I need to work on that...
To do item: I need to get a Surly Big Dummy and mount a recoilless rifle on it.